So... Muse, the best band in the whole history of the universe amen, are headlining at Glastonbury. And I don't have a ticket.
We all knew it was pretty likely. I even looked at registering for tickets, but then they wanted photo ID blah blah and really, I've been too busy/forgot/couldn't be arsed.
With Glastonbury tickets selling out in the first nanosecond or whatever, there are ways of getting in that don't involve climbing over fences or hiding in someone's rucksack.
You can be a volunteer - be a litter/picker/hand out bog rolls/flush toilets/direct drunk people through a sea of mud - and they will pay for your ticket, provide a couple of meals a day plus a a separate camping area with hot showers.
Yay! I can do that, I thought. So I signed up to WaterAid.
Well the first part, anyway.
You see, there is a flaw in my cunning plan. The second part of the application involves uploading a short video showing how I would encourage people to support WaterAid.
It's a great charity, and they do wonderful things, but can really stand in front of a camera and convince them I would be a great ambassador?
I only want to see Muse!
I've never been to Glastonbury, and I'll be 43 next month. I attended my first ever festival last year - Download - and yes, it was because Muse were headlining. And it was awesome. It was also, as most festivals are wont to be, very wet and muddy (DAMN our climate to hell and back) and my festival tent definitely was not waterproof. But I was with friends, and it was a brilliant experience.
But can I really put myself through that - and worse, cos I would be working, any possibly cleaning out toilets where pissheads have gone to die - just to see Matt Bellamy's arse (gorgeous though it is) bouncing around the stage, flirting with drummer Dom, and to see bassist Chris with his mouth organ (oooer!). I am getting on a bit, after all. And I'm not very fit (mostly my own doing - overweight/diabetes/lazyitis).
I am getting to see Muse twice in the next couple of months. And I was lucky enough to see them a couple of times last year. And they are only on for one night, and there will be thousands of people there.
My poor long suffering husband says he's happy for me to go. He knows Resistance (ha! Muse fans: see what I did there?) is futile, he knows what a desperate sad fangirl I am.
There's all the other bands there too, and the whole Glasto experience.
I don't know what to do.