Blog Tour: Knowing You by Samantha Tong

Thank you to the author, the publisher Canelo, Netgalley and Rachel's Randon Resources for the opportunity to review the book on the Blog Tour!

Purchase Links

Amazon - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07MX87BH1/?_encoding=UTF8&camp=1634&creative=6738&linkCode=ur2&tag=canelo-21

Apple - https://geo.itunes.apple.com/gb/book/knowing-you/id1449854707?mt=11&uo=8&at=1000l5Q7

Google - https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=aRiEDwAAQBAJ

Kobo - https://www.kobo.com/gb/en/ebook/knowing-you-6

The Blurb

An abrupt change; a new friendship; a dark secret...

Kind-hearted Violet has never fitted in, but despite being bullied at school is now content. She is dating ambitious Lenny, has her dream job in publishing and runs a book club at the local retirement home.

However, when her relationship with Lenny begins to falter, Violet, hurt and alone, seeks the advice of her new flatmate, Bella. She changes her image and with her head held high aims to show that she doesn’t need Lenny in her life to be happy and successful.

Her long-term friends Kath and Farah worry about Bella’s influence and slowly Violet starts to distance herself from them. When she was a child, her closest confidant and companion was a boy called Flint. Her mother didn’t approve of their closeness and he suffered a terrible end. She won’t let the same thing happen to Bella, no matter what anyone says...

Knowing You is about friendship and knowing who to trust with your deepest secrets; it’s about taking control of your life and not being afraid to stand out. Perfect for fans of Ruth Hogan, Gail Honeyman and Amanda Prowse.

My Review

I love this book! It had me gripped all throughout. I was screaming at the page as Violet ignores all her old friends in favour of Bella, her new flatmate and confidente. Emboldened and encouraged by Bella's suggestions, Violet undergoes a radical transformation. But not everyone is happy with the new Violet...

The author has written with passion and sensitivity about emotive subjects, such as self-esteem, bullying and loss. I found Violet to be instantly relatable, and my heart was breaking for her as I read her story. It resonates deeply even now, weeks after I read the book.

About the Author

Samantha Tonge lives in Manchester UK and her passion, second to spending time with her husband and children, is writing. She studied German and French at university and has worked abroad, including a stint at Disneyland Paris. She has travelled widely.

When not writing she passes her days cycling, baking and drinking coffee. Samantha has sold many dozens of short stories to women’s magazines. 

In 2013, she landed a publishing deal for romantic comedy fiction with HQDigital at HarperCollins and in 2014, her bestselling debut novel, Doubting Abbey, was shortlisted for the Festival of Romantic Fiction best Ebook award. In 2015 her summer novel, Game of Scones, hit #5 in the UK Kindle chart and won the Love Stories Awards Best Romantic Ebook category.

Links
Twitter: https://twitter.com/SamTongeWriter
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/SamanthaTongeAuthor
Website: http://samanthatonge.co.uk/

Book Review: Me, Myself and Them by Dan Mooney

The Blurb

Struggling to cope with a tragic loss, Denis Murphy has learned to live a bit differently. Both his friends are used to it - the only problem is his monstrous housemates.

When his enigmatic ex-girlfriend comes back into his life, she threatens to shatter the finely crafted world around him.

As Denis begins to re-emerge from his sheltered existence and rediscover the person he used to be, things turn nasty, and he is forced to confront the demons that share not only his house, but also his head.

My Review

Many thanks to the publisher, Legend Press, for the proof copy. This review is my honest opinion.

My God but there are some good books out there this year. So far most of those I have read I have given  a rating of either 4 or 5 out of 5. I keep thinking I'm giving too many 5 stars, but they really are that good. And Me, Myself and Them is no exception.

Actually, it is an exception. It is an exceptional book; dealing with mental health issues that few people like to discuss, even in these enlightened days of 'It's ok not to be ok' and #MentalHealthMatters. Dan Mooney deals with these issues with sensitivity and humour, and understanding. Yes, it can be an uncomfortable read at times, but it is utterly compelling.

It becomes obvious as the book goes on that a past tragedy has left the 'old' Denis behind, and this new, shy, obsessive Denis in his place. This Denis has developed his own coping strategies - or are they avoidance techniques. Most people think he's weird and avoid him, but Denis has some very good friends who stand by him. Unfortunately there are also some not quite as benevolent who are determined not to let him go.

It is an outstanding, heartbreaking story which resonated in my very core. I found him to be a desperately sad character, with his OCD ways and habits, but immensely likeable. He is still able to show his sense of humour, even taking the mickey out of himself and his 'ways' at times.

This book shows how events in our lives can shake us to the core, and the huge impact they can have on our lives. Some lucky people go through life without experiencing anything truly awful, and I think these people would have trouble understanding how someone so 'normal' before could be so broken. What we need when we are in trouble is people around us who care, even if they find it hard to know how to help; just being there helps, as Denis finds with his two closest friends. 

When Rebecca, Denis's ex turns up, Denis is torn. She wants the old Denis back, but he thinks he is gone forever. Rebecca is a lovely character, treading very carefully in how far she can push him. She shows a rare patience with him, and tries to help him.

The ending of the book is so very good. I was in tears and it has me thinking about it for a long while afterwards. Me, Myself and Them is truly unforgettable and Dan Mooney is a more than worthy winner of the Luke Bitmead Bursary.

You can buy the book here or from other retailers.

Book Review: Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman

The Blurb

Eleanor Oliphant has learned how to survive – but not how to live

Eleanor Oliphant leads a simple life. She wears the same clothes to work every day, eats the same meal deal for lunch every day and buys the same two bottles of vodka to drink every weekend.

Eleanor Oliphant is happy. Nothing is missing from her carefully timetabled life. Except, sometimes, everything.

One simple act of kindness is about to shatter the walls Eleanor has built around herself. Now she must learn how to navigate the world that everyone else seems to take for granted – while searching for the courage to face the dark corners she’s avoided all her life.

Change can be good. Change can be bad. But surely any change is better than… fine?

 My Review

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for the ARC of this utterly fabulous book. This is my honest review and I confirm I do not get paid for reviewing this or any other book.

Eleanor Oliphant is an extraordinary character. I absolutely loved her. I felt an immediate affinity as she prepares herself to meet a sexy rock star. There is no question that once he meets her, they will be together as a couple.

Of course to her, it is everyone else who is odd. Their reactions to her are as joyful to read as Eleanor's reactions to situations mundane to others. Her experience in the beauty salon had me in stitches. I love the way Eleanor makes us see how strange 'normal' people can behave. 

At first I presumed Eleanor had always been this quirky, but heartbreakingly it becomes evident that something happened in her childhood. But her blossoming friendship with Raymond has her emerging like a butterfly, even if she is reluctant to leave the safety of her cocoon. 

Raymond is a wonderful character, showing endless patience towards the woman everyone else just dismisses as weird. Slowly he shows Eleanor that not everything is black and white and that the world is a beautiful colourful place. It touched my heart in many ways.

I do love this book so much. It is such a warm, refreshing read - perfectly constructed. I highly recommend it!

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine is published by HarperCollins and can be bought here.

Book Review: Obsession by Amanda Robson

One evening, a wife asks her husband a question: who else would you go for, if you could?

It is a simple question – a little game – that will destroy her life.

Carly and Rob are a perfect couple. They share happy lives with their children and their close friends Craig and Jenny. They’re lucky. But beneath the surface, no relationship is simple: can another woman’s husband and another man’s wife ever just be good friends?

Little by little, Carly’s question sends her life spiralling out of control, as she begins to doubt everything she thought was true. Who can she trust? The man she has promised to stick by forever, or the best friend she has known for years? And is Carly being entirely honest with either of them?

Obsession is a dark, twisting thriller about how quickly our lives can fall apart when we act on our desires.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher, Avon, for the ARC.

I read a lot of books - too many perhaps, when I should be writing my own. I've been lucky this year so far; most have been great, the occasional one was not, and then last night, one absolutely blew my socks off.

Obsession is compelling, horrifying, disturbing, gripping...

The story is told in turns by each of the four main characters, husband and wife Rob and Carly, and the other couple Jenni and Craig. Each of them is narrating the tale to one of the others, and it is thoroughly enthralling. 

I don't want to give any more of the plot away; because I think each reader should be as shocked as I was. Never before have I been so betrayed by characters in a book. They play with my emotions - at first I detested the seemingly brash, selfish Carly, but later found myself wavering between sympathy and revulsion, an unsettling mixture felt for each of the characters as they seek to disarm and deceive us. I simply did not know who to trust.

The story gets bigger and more terrifying, the characters becoming more and more awful and their actions even worse. Honestly, this book wrong-footed me so many times, I had to read it in almost one sitting (I had to stop at 2am then carried on again at 8am!).

I've heard it said that for a book to be successful, you have to fall in love with at least one of the characters. Well, Obsession smashes the mould.

Obsession is published on Kindle on 4th May and in paperback on 1st June by Avon and you can pre-order either from Amazon or other retailers.

Book Review: The Cows by Dawn O'Porter

COW [n.]
/kaʊ/
A piece of meat; born to breed; past its sell-by-date; one of the herd.

Women don’t have to fall into a stereotype.

Tara, Cam and Stella are strangers living their own lives as best they can – though when society’s screaming you should live life one way, it can be hard to like what you see in the mirror.

When an extraordinary event ties invisible bonds of friendship between them, one woman’s catastrophe becomes another’s inspiration, and a life lesson to all.
Sometimes it’s ok not to follow the herd.

The Cows is a powerful novel about three women – judging each other, but also themselves. In all the noise of modern life, they need to find their own voice.

Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher, HarperCollins, for the ARC. All opinions are my own - I don't follow the herd.

The three women in this novel are very different to each other; Tara is a single mother, determined to balance caring for her child with carving an outstanding role within a male-dominated industry; Cam is a successful blogger, who finds herself vigorously defending a woman's right not to have a child; and Stella, who has always lived in the shadow of her twin and cannot escape it even after her death.

It's a sassy, sharply, written novel with predicaments every woman can probably identify with in some way or another. OK so most women wouldn't dream of doing what poor Tara is caught doing, but the repercussions should fill everyone with fear and dread that social media has such power in our lives.

Stella is grieving for her sister and mother, who died within months of each other from ovarian cancer and breast cancer. Stella needs a hysterectomy and mastectomy after discovering she has the same deviant genes. Her eggs, and therefore her chances of becoming a mother, are on borrowed time.

Cam is the opposite - she rejects the very idea of motherhood and relationships, but her views aren't popular with everyone.

These three women are brought together under the strangest of circumstances in a story which will have you laughing, crying, and raising your fist and yelling 'Hell Yes!' Or maybe that's just me...

The Cows was published on 6th April and can be bought from Amazon or other retailers.

Dawn O'Porter is a broadcaster, novelist and print journalist who lives in London with her husband Chris, cat Lilu and dog Potato. She has made thirteen documentaries about all sorts of things including polygamy, childbirth, geishas, body image, breast cancer and even the movie DIRTY DANCING.

Dawn has written for various UK newspapers and magazines including GRAZIA and STYLIST. Her first novel PAPER AEROPLANES was published by Hot Key Books in 2013. Although Dawn lives in London she spends a lot of time in LA and travels a lot. You may have seen her dragging two huge pink suitcases with broken wheels and a Siamese cat (Lilu) in a box through international airports. At some point she plans to get new suitcases - the cat, however, has a few years left in her yet. Follow Dawn at www.dawnoporter.co.uk or on Twitter: @hotpatooties

Book Review: The Woman at Number 24 by Juliet Ashton

The Blurb

When your marriage falls apart, the last place you'd want your husband to move to is downstairs. Unfortunately for Sarah, up in the eaves at number 24, her ex-husband now lives one floor beneath her with his new wife. Their happiness floats up through the floorboards, taunting her.

A child psychologist, Sarah has picked up great sadness from the little girl, Una, who lives with her careworn mother three floors below, but is Sarah emotionally equipped to reach out?

The Spring brings a new couple to the house. Jane and Tom's zest for life revives the flagging spirits, and Sarah can't deny the instant attraction to handsome Tom. Having seen at first hand what infidelity does to people, she'll never act on it ... but the air fizzes with potential.

The sunshine doesn't reach every corner of number 24, however. Elderly Mavis, tucked away in the basement, has kept the world at bay for decades. She's about to find out that she can't hide forever.

Juliet Ashton weaves a story of love, friendship and community that will move you to laughter and to tears. Think Cold Feet meets David Nicholls, with a dash of the joy of Jill Mansell added for good measure.

My Review

Thank you to the publishers, Books and the City at Simon & Schuster for the exciting exclusive extract and then to them and Netgalley for the ARC.

You see so many big properties, once so grand,  divided up into individual flats. I always think it's a shame; ripping the heart and character out of a home. But then it becomes home to more people, allowing room for more characters and their relationships to develop.

Number 24 is home to several inhabitants, including Sarah, and somewhat awkwardly, her ex husband and his new wife. The intricacies of such a relationship are explored, with Sarah desperate to win Leo back, and Leo himself doing nothing to dissuade her...

Then there's Mavis, a cantankerous old woman who lives in self-imposed poverty in the basement. When her sister dies, Sarah feels sorry for Mavis and decides no one can be that bad - apart from perhaps, Peck, the extremely foul-mouthed parrot.

Sarah is mourning the loss of her friend Smith, who Leo had ironically been so jealous of when he and Sarah were still married - until he left her for the glamorous Helena who had moved in. 

Suffering so much loss in her life, and having to prepare to move out of the flat she adores, Sarah's life is crumbling. She is a child psychologist, but has even lost her connection to children and is so full of self-doubt. She is intrigued by new neighbours, Jane and Tom, becoming friends with Jane but disturbingly attracted to Tom...

It's a lovely story of community, which sadly seems to be lacking in much of today's society, friendships, loyalty, love and self-worth. Some have too much, whilst others are severely lacking.

Juliet writes wonderfully comforting stories which wrap themselves around you like a hug. Even the sad or uncomfortable parts where people are suffering are a delight to read, because you know the story will pan out in the end, even if it's not necessarily in the way you expect - and this is Juliet's talent. Beautiful stories which draw you right in, with great characterisation.

Now when can I move in?

You can pre-order The Woman at Number 24 from Amazon or other retailers.

About the Author:

Juliet Ashton was born in Fulham and still lives in London. She writes under a variety of names, including her real name, Bernadette Strachan, and as Claire Sandy. She is married and has one daughter. Find out more at www.berniestrachan.com You can follow Juliet on Twitter @julietstories

Blog Tour and Review: Dangerous to Know by Anne Buist

Today the Blog Tour for Anne Buist's novel, Dangerous to Know, stops off at mine.

Thanks to Legend Press and Anne Buist for the advanced reading copy. All views are my own.

The Blurb 

Natalie King is back: back from a stay on the psych ward. Her reluctance to live a quiet life has contributed to a severe depressive episode, and now it’s time for a retreat to the country. A borrowed house on the Great Ocean Road; a low-key research job at a provincial university nearby.

But Natalie and trouble have a strange mutual fascination. Her charismatic new boss Frank is friendly, even attractive. But it turns out his pregnant wife is an old enemy of Natalie’s. And when Frank’s tragic personal history is revealed—then reprised in the most shocking way—Natalie finds herself drawn deep into a mystery. And even deeper into danger.

My Review

This is our second encounter with psychologist Natalie King (you can read my review of the first book in the series, Medea's Curse, here). 

Natalie has her bi-polar in hand (for now) after a stay on a psychiatric ward, but she treads a dangerous path when she ends up working for Frank Moreton. Frank is an enigmatic, attractive man, who has the somewhat unfortunate misfortune of losing pregnant wives. He and Natalie are both drawn to each other, but not in the usual way.

Jealousy weaves its way through the story, as wives, ex-lovers and members of an eccentric family all make their presence known. No one appears to be straightforward, everyone has their own hidden agenda, with the exception of the lovely Declan, Natalie's own therapist. I feel sorry for him, and it is obvious that Natalie respects him and wants to please him.

I found this second novel easier to read than the first as there were not as many technical details relating to the mental health profession - as promised by the author!

The plot twists and turns, as family secrets are revealed in this fast-paced thriller. It is a breathless ride along with Natalie as she is at risk of losing control of herself and the complicated situations in which she inevitably ends up embroiled. Natalie is one of the most interesting and complex characters I've ever met in a book, and I hope to be reading about more of her escapades.

About the Author:

Anne Buist is the Chair of Women’s Mental Health at the University of Melbourne and has over 25 years clinical and research experience in perinatal psychiatry working on cases of abuse, kidnapping, infanticide and murder.

She has published ten erotic romance- suspense novels under the pseudonym Simone Sinna. She is married to novelist Graeme Simsion and has two children.

Follow Anne on Twitter: @anneebuist

You can buy Dangerous to Know here (other retailers are available!).

Blog Tour: Dare to Remember by Susanna Beard

I'm delighted to be on the Blog Tour for Susanna Beard's new novel, published on 1st February by Legend Press.

The Blurb

Reeling from a brutal attack that leaves her best friend dead and her badly injured, Lisa Fulbrook flees to the countryside to recuperate. With only vague memories of the event, she isolates herself from her friends and family, content to spend her days wandering the hills with her dog, Riley.However, Lisa is soon plagued, not only by vivid flashbacks, but questions, too: how did their assailant know them? Why were they attacked? And what really happened that night?

As she desperately tries to piece together the memories, Lisa realises that there's another truth still hidden to her, a truth she can't escape from. A truth that may have been right in front of her all along.

My Review

Thank you to the publisher Legend Press for the advanced reading copy. This review is my honest opinion.

This is the story of the aftermath of a brutal attack which has left one woman dead, and her best friend struggling with all kinds of emotions, not least guilt that she survived, and the senseless loss of her friend.

The fear which constantly plagues Lisa's life is very real. She cannot remember more than flashes of what happened, and each fragment of memory serves to cripple her again; she struggles with day-to-day tasks; she trusts no one. She shuts herself off from the world, but soon comes to realise that to get over it, she has to remember exactly what happened.

Lisa has counselling; she doesn't find it particularly helpful as it is a major undertaking for her to even attend a session. The author has described feelings of anxiety, raw pain and overwhelming depression perfectly. I found myself immersed in this book; I could really empathise with the character's struggle in recovery.

Lisa reluctantly makes a tentative friend in Jessica, and shows great strength in supporting her when she needs help, even though she is terrified. John, the elderly neighbour keeps Lisa from becoming a total recluse; as she feels a responsibility to look after this lonely old man. The friendship becomes a vital part of the story as she takes on his dog, Riley, who is an integral part of Lisa's recovery.

Dare to Remember is an amazing read which had me gripped from the very start.

You can buy the book from Amazon, Waterstones and other booksellers.

About the Author

Susanna is a psychological crime writer who lives in Marlow, Buckinghamshire. Her day job in PR both demands and celebrates writing and she’s helped promote everything from websites to wine. She writes every day, all the time: news, articles, speeches, websites, blogs - and now novels.

She likes dark, contemplative stories with a twist; she’s fascinated by the psychology of relationships and the impact of insignificant events on people's lives. 

Susanna started writing fiction after attending a course at the Faber Academy. Other passions include her dogs, who keep her grounded, and tennis, which clears her brain of pretty much everything.

Book Review: Watch Me by Angela Clarke

The Blurb

YOU HAVE SIX SECONDS TO READ THIS MESSAGE…

The body of a 15-year-old is found hours after she sends a desperate message to her friends. It looks like suicide, until a second girl disappears.

This time, the message is sent directly to the Metropolitan Police – and an officer’s younger sister is missing.

DS Nasreen Cudmore and journalist Freddie Venton will stop at nothing to find her. But whoever’s behind the notes is playing a deadly game of hide and seek – and the clock is ticking.

YOU HAVE 24 HOURS TO SAVE THE GIRL’S LIFE.

MAKE THEM COUNT.

My Review

Wow - I finished reading this last night and was left breathless. The book felt like an episode of  '24' - tense, dramatic, nail-biting, complete with each chapter counting down to the deadline for saving the sister of a colleague.

Gone is the brash, prickly Freddie Venton of Clarke's first book in the series, Follow Me. Freddie has been reduced to a nervous wreck by the villain, who is now locked up. He has left physical and mental scars on poor Freddie, who has been unable to cope and is living back with her parents. She suffers from panic attacks and anxiety, and the last thing she needs is old friend Nasreen turning up on her doorstep begging for help.

But of course Freddie agrees to help - after all, the case is similar to last time, and Freddie feels partly responsible. 

Nasreen has moved up in the world; she's on a new team, but still has to fight the prejudice of one of her colleagues. The usually by-the-book Nas finds herself discovering an inner strength and resourcefulness, going against the rules to get the job done. After all, she is guilty too. 

Social Media is again the star - or culprit - of this series; showing just how it can influence and damage our lives. The media used this time is Snap Chat; various Snaps are sent to Nas and her team, showing them videos of the poor abducted girl. (I'm guessing for the kidnapper to put a panting doggy filter over the poor victim would have been a bit too sick and twisted here).

The writing is taut, the dialogue natural and the humour as sharp as a blade, and again Angela Clarke has written a story that should strike fear into the hearts of the self-obsessed frenzied society of today.

You don't need to have read Follow Me to read this, but I highly recommend you do because it is a cracking series.

You can buy Watch Me, and it's predecessor Follow Me, from Amazon, Waterstones and other retailers.

About the Author

Angela is an author, playwright, columnist and professional speaker.

Her debut crime thriller Follow Me (Avon, HarperCollins) was named Amazon’s Rising Star Debut of the Month January 2016, long listed for the Crime Writer’s Association Dagger in the Library 2016, and short listed for the Good Reader Page Turner Award 2016. Follow Me has now been optioned by a TV production company. 

The second instalment in the Social Media Murder Series Watch Me (Avon, HarperCollins) is out January 2017. And the third Trust Me (Avon, HarperCollins) is out June 2017. 

Angela’s humorous memoir Confessions of a Fashionista (Ebury, Penguin Random House) is an Amazon Fashion Chart bestseller. 

Her play, The Legacy, enjoyed its first run at The Hope Theatre in June 2015. 

An experienced and entertaining speaker, Angela has given talks, hosted events, and masterclasses for many, including Noirwich Crime Writing Festival, Camp Bestival, Panic! (in partnership with Create, the Barbican, Goldsmiths University and The Guardian), Meet a Mentor (in partnership with the Royal Society of Arts), Northwich Lit Fest, St Albans Lit Fest, BeaconLit, and the London College of Fashion. She also hosted the current affairs radio show Outspoken on Radio Verulam in 2015, and has appeared regularly as a panel guest on BBC 3 Counties, BBC Radio 4, and the BBC World Service, among others.

In 2015 Angela was awarded the Young Stationers' Prize for achievement and promise in writing and publishing. She also works for The Literary Consultancy critiquing manuscripts and mentoring. Angela, a sufferer of the debilitating chronic condition Ehlers Danlos III, is a Fellow of the Royal Society of Arts, volunteers with Womentoring, Meet a Mentor and at HM Prisons. She is passionate about bringing marginalised voices into the industry. You can find out more about her at www.AngelaClarke.co.uk

Find out more at: http://angelaclarke.co.uk and Follow Her (see what I did there?) on Twitter @theangelaclarke

Book Review: Good Me Bad Me by Ali Land

The Blurb

'NEW NAME. NEW FAMILY. SHINY. NEW. ME.' 

Annie's mother is a serial killer. The only way she can make it stop is to hand her in to the police. But out of sight is not out of mind. As her mother's trial looms, the secrets of her past won't let Annie sleep, even with a new foster family and name - Milly. A fresh start. Now, surely, she can be whoever she wants to be. But Milly's mother is a serial killer. And blood is thicker than water. Good me, bad me. She is, after all, her mother's daughter... 

Translated into over 20 languages, Good Me Bad Me is a tour de force. In its narrator, Milly Barnes, we have a voice to be reckoned with, and in its author, Ali Land, an extraordinary new talent.

My Review

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher, Michael Joseph, for the advanced reading copy.

Oh. My. God. What a book!

I was initially intrigued by the premise of a girl having to deal with having a serial killer for a mother. But as I started reading Good Me Bad Me I started to get scared. I was worried the story was going to dissolve into a voyeuristic, sadistic car crash.

But I needn't have worried - I am so glad I carried on reading. Once I did, I found it hard to leave - hence a couple of late nights where I couldn't stop thinking about the book once I put it down.

The narrator, Milly, is talking to her mother. Telling her how she has made her feel, telling her how she is coping (or not) without her. The descriptions of the crimes committed thankfully don't go into gory detail, leaving your mind to fill in the blanks - which works to great effect here.

Milly is staying with a foster family, the Newmonts. The father, Mike, is a psychologist, helping Milly prepare to testify against her own mother. The mother, Saskia, a mere shadow of a woman, scorned by her own daughter, Phoebe, who rails against having to compete with a broken foster child.

Milly has to battle to survive, against her mother's voice, constantly with her; against her background, desperate to keep her past hidden, against herself, for fear of becoming like her mother. She finds a friend in Morgan, but can she keep her safe?

Phoebe is a poisonous character, hellbent on making Milly's life even more of a living hell than it already is. Ali Land depicts the turmoils of adolescence perfectly, showing how cruel girls can be to each other, vying to be leader of the gang, and how easily led some can become, to afraid to say no. 

This is an absolute smasher of a debut novel. I think Good Me Bad Me is going to be one of the most talked about books for 2017. Absolutely bloody amazing.

Good Me Bad Me is published on 12th January by Michael Joseph. You can buy the book at Amazon, Waterstones and other retailers.

About the Author

After graduating from university with a degree in Mental Health, Ali Land spent a decade working as a Child and Adolescent Mental Health Nurse in hospitals and schools in the UK and Australia. Ali is now a full-time writer and lives in a creative warehouse community in North London. Good Me Bad Me has been translated into over twenty languages.

Follow Ali on Twitter @byAliLand

The Grey Fog

This blog post is a bit random - it's not a book review, or anything to do with books. It's just an effort to how I am feeling at the moment; how many people suffering from depression may feel at times.

Some of you know I suffer from depression at times; some of you may have no idea or don't really care. Some of you may be embarrassed. Some of you may even identify with what I am trying to say.

I feel disconnected. Numb, sometimes. Other times, raw, like an open wound. I'm going through the motions of living. Plastering a smile on my face assuring everyone that yes, I'm fine thanks, how are you? I've been hiding from it for so long I've got lost.

This time it has been going on all year, probably the longest bout I've had.

January is always a hard month. So many sad anniversaries, so many people loved and lost. This year is this worst in a long time. Lemmy, Bowie, Wogan, Rickman, Corbett. Victoria Wood. Grizzly Adams. Sounds ridiculous doesn't it. How I can be so affected by the deaths of people I didn't know personally; had never met. But they have been in my life ALL my life.

I thought it would get better. I thought as the days grew longer, the darkness in my head would recede. But it hasn't. 

Instead I've been going through the motions, convincing myself that it WILL get better, I just need to carry on as normal. 

After all, there are people around me suffering far worse than I; people with cancer, some fighting it with everything they've got, some resigned to the fact that it means the end for them eventually but in the meantime they're going to enjoy what time they have left.

Then there's me. Nothing physically wrong - well except for the diabetes, which, having been under control, has gone awry cos I can't curb my appetite for everything bad; and the plantar fasciitis in my right heel which makes every step agony. Jeez, don't ask her how she is. How long have you got?

I know what I am supposed to do. I know what I am supposed to eat, what exercises I should be doing on my foot, what I should be writing to fight the anxiety, how to be mindful, how to breathe. I've had the training. But it's not working. I'm not working.

I struggle to get out of bed. The daily battles with the children, their constant niggling and backbiting overwhelms me, leaving me exhausted before the day has begun. 

If I'm going in the office, which very luckily I only have to do once or twice a week, I drive the 62 miles there, quite often with the radio on full blast to keep me from falling asleep. I do my work, pass pleasantries with me friends and colleagues, go through the motions of normality. Then I drive home again. Once I found myself talking to myself about there being no aliens. Another time, more recently, I was waiting to put my carrots in the lane I needed to take for the M25. WTF?! Exactly.

When I'm working at home, I log on to my laptop at 7:30, maybe do the school run, and work, sustained by the cups of tea and coffee my lovely husband brings me. Then at lunchtime, I set my alarm for 1.5 hours and fall into a deep, deep sleep. Then I wake up and carry on working till 5, 6 o'clock. Dream job - I am very lucky to be able to work as I do.

But I now cannot concentrate. Whether it's work, in the office, at home, reading a book, watching a favourite TV series, I find myself either distracted and fidgety, or I fall asleep.

I struggle to fulfil my book review commitments, leaving everything till last minute. I joined the Romantic Novelists Association's New Writer's Scheme again this year. My novel is all planned out; it's going to be brilliant. I have until 31st August to send the full manuscript in for a full critical review.

I've got 13,500 words written so far. Nowhere near the 80,000 word novel I intended.

Nothing's working any more. Three weeks ago I gave in. I went to my GP and told her my current antidepressant wasn't working. She gave me another one to try, with instructions on withdrawing from the old one and introducing the new one. She signed me off for three weeks.

I don't feel better yet. I'm on a low dose of this new tablet, which can be increased. I don't think the side effects are that bad, though my sense of taste has changed, making everything taste bland. I'm sleeping a lot, but I think that is the depression. I physically ache. That feeling of disconnection is still there; I go places but I'm not present. My glucose levels are ridiculous; but I can't deal with that at the moment. One thing at a time.

This week has been pretty tough. I (stupidly) got involved in a political argument on Twitter with a couple of old 'friends'. Or rather, they decided to attack me for my views, which I do not force down people's throats, constantly pushing me to justify myself. Usually I just walk away, but this time I felt I had to stand up for myself, to prove to myself that I wasn't so weak. In the end, exhausted and feeling battered beyond belief, I gave up, saying I was too tired, I couldn't cope with this on top of my depression. Then I was attacked for hiding behind it; then was told by one that, by the way, I was the reason the other one had cut themselves.

I'm not stupid. I know ultimately I am not responsible, They have their own issues. But it was still very upsetting. I've blocked them now.

I probably sound like a right whinger/hypochondriac. But anyone who lives with depression knows that it is so hard. What may seem like a simple solution to one person can be an insurmountable task to a sufferer. I am lucky in that I have the support of my family and my real friends. Otherwise, instead of just thinking about driving the car into that tree, I would actually do it.

Sunday, I went into London by myself, to meet friends I only know online. I could so easily have stayed in bed, but my husband gently encouraged me to go, knowing that one of them was returning to Australia and I'd regret it if I didn't meet with her. I survived. I may have floated around the tube, in a bubble, but I met up with these awesome people and we spent hours talking. It was great. But now it feels like I dreamt it.

I feel guilty, but the thought of going back to work on Wednesday fills me with fear. I like my job; I just can't do it at the moment. I can't do much at all. I am hoping that I can get a little bit longer off work, just to let this medication do its stuff. 

The thing is with depression, is that you cannot see it. There are no outwardly visible symptoms (other than a miserable face). I don't look ill. Sometimes I wish that I could hurt myself physically so that there are wounds to see (but I can't - I'm a wuss. I don't like pain). Trying to set an example to our children is so hard; three of them are adolescents and hormonal, trying to show resilience when you are at rock bottom is pretty bloody difficult. My kids are brilliant though. I had another melt-down earlier, and my eldest son came and sat beside me on the bathroom floor, holding me, supporting me. My husband holds me too, takes care of everything else so I don't have to. I hate that they have to see me like this, but I'm proud of them, too.

The colour black is often associated with depression - the Black Dog, the Black Hole of Despair. But for me it's more of a murky, grey fog. Sometimes it lightens, more of a mist, sometimes allowing the sun to shine through; other times it is suffocating and the only escape is the sanctity of sleep.

I know there is light. I know I will be 'fixed' and will be on an even keel again soon. You may ask 'How can I help?' The answer is I don't know. Just be you, and carry on as normal. Just be patient with me. The sun will shine again soon.